Footy sipping: pairing your wine with game time

We’ve a theory that any idiot can watch footy with a beer in their hand. It naturally follows that viewing it with vino automatically raises one in one’s esteem. We’re here to help you raise your raising a glass game to that of the true aficionado.

It’s a strange love that we have for our chosen/inherited side. No love is blinder – for even at its most ocularly proficient, our support is one-eyed.

Being this engaged in your sport(s) of choice, you spend a lot of time immersed in detail. It’s only fitting that we’ve gone to the same level of statistical analysis to bring you the best wine to pair with this weekend’s match-up.

FORECAST: You’re going to thrash them/get thrashed

DRINK: Shiraz

This isn’t David v Goliath. David called in sick so his neighbour Craig filled in. It’s a no-contest contest. Just sit back, relax and let it wash over you. As such, a big, juicy Shiraz is just the ticket. There’s nothing lively going on here. It’s just a big glass of satisfaction, or the comfy warm blanket you need if you’re on the wrong end of the score line.

FORECAST: A comfortable win. Celebration calls!

DRINK: Champagne

Notwithstanding that bubbles actually go with any occasion ever, there’s science behind this pairing too. For a game that isn’t destined to rise to a great height, Champagne is such a juxtaposition that it fits like a 1980s full-forward’s shorts. Look at that fine bead. Are you getting hints of limestone? Wow, our backs are legitimately terrible.

See! It’s a perfect match.

FORECAST: You’ve tipped them, but you never know…

DRINK: Cabernet Sauvignon

You might be a star or two short of your best line-up so what should be an easy win is suddenly not a fait accompli. Here, we like to slip into something nice and comfy that isn’t going to challenge us too much but also isn’t going to put us to sleep. Grab your go-to cab sav, or pick a new one to try from your favourite region, and settle in for the spectacle. How good is it to have sport back on the tele?!?!

FORECAST: We’ve got the close one!

DRINK: Pinot Grigio

Match of the Round. Old foes. Points to Prove. Axes to Grind. You know this game is going to be a modern classic. And to celebrate, you’re going to crack open a nice bottle of Pinot Grigio. There’s so much logic here that it almost hurts. For starters, it’s a great sipping wine which means there’s no real complexity to distract you from whatever number 8 has been doing ALLL DAY, UMPIRE! But when you invariably, excitedly spill half a glass over your shirt, pants, couch and carpet when your favourite player scores from out of nowhere, you’ll appreciate the genius behind the selection.

See! Science!

Of course, there’s no guarantee that the drink you choose is going to match the game – since you need a bit of prognostication to get it 100% right. But whether you hit the nail on the head or end up spending the rest of your weekend mopping shiraz out of suede, whatever you chose sure as hell beat a mindless six pack of bore*.

*that was autocorrect. Honest.